Choosing the people who help you choose

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Choosing the people who help you choose

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When families start thinking about selecting a wealth manager for the first time, it’s rarely because life got simpler. Usually it’s after a sale, an inheritance, or just a growing sense that things have become… layered. More moving parts, more people involved, and certainly more opinions around the table.

Up until that point, most families have relied on the same few trusted professionals: the family accountant, the lawyer, maybe a stockbroker or two. The system worked. So stepping into the so-called “wealth management” world can feel foreign. And to be honest, also a bit contrived.

You start looking around and every wealth management firm seems to say the same thing. “Holistic”, “Independent”. “Tailored”. There are smiling team photos, the promise of ‘bespoke’ service, and enough jargon to fill a small novel.

If you’ve never needed this kind of advice before, it’s hard to tell who’s actually good. Because here’s the truth: finding a genuinely skilled adviser is often random. The best ones tend not to advertise. They don’t need to. They arrive through quiet introductions, from families who’ve already tested them over time.

Meanwhile, the loudest operators, the ones sponsoring the charity gala or popping up in glossy magazines, are often the best salespeople and not necessarily the best advisers.

Most families choose their first wealth manager by chance. The smartest ones bring someone they already trust to help them choose.

And that’s where it helps to have someone sitting next to you. Someone who already knows how you think and how your family makes decisions. Someone who’s seen you debate investments over dinner, or wrestle with the idea of risk. Maybe it is your family accountant. Maybe it’s a long-time adviser. Perhaps, a Family Enterprise Adviser like myself. Maybe it’s that one person in your orbit whose judgement you trust instinctively.

Their role isn’t to pick the wealth manager for you. It’s to translate. To help you hear what’s really being said behind all the polished language.

Because the difference between a good investment adviser and a good salesperson can be subtle, especially early on. Yes, the salesperson will make you feel seen. They’ll talk about their process, their team, their performance. You’ll walk out confident, maybe even relieved.

The investment adviser, however, will make you think. They’ll slow you down. They’ll ask questions that feel slightly uncomfortable. They’ll talk about how decisions are made in your family before they talk about markets. They’ll ask what the money’s for, not just how to grow it.

And your trusted person will pick that up immediately. They’ll see when an adviser is leading with ego rather than empathy. They’ll notice when the conversation shifts from understanding to selling.

And that matters, because wealth management in Australia still carries the shadow of its sales-driven past. The big institutions have changed logos, but many of the habits remain. It’s not easy for a family, especially one new to this world, to spot the difference between substance and polish.

Having that steady presence beside you helps. They’ll call out the moments that don’t sit right. They’ll remind you that charm isn’t the same as competence. They’ll keep the decision grounded in what actually matters to you.

Choosing an adviser isn’t about comparing fees or checking who’s got the biggest office. It’s about fit. It’s about values. And it’s about whether the person across the table listens more than they talk.

The guide beside you, the one who knows your blind spots, can tilt the odds in your favour. They’re not there to judge. They’re there to hold the mirror steady so you can see things clearly.

In the end, that’s what good advice is meant to do anyway. Help you see, not sell.

So if you’re a family standing at that crossroad, take a breath before diving into the noise. Bring someone with you who already knows you; knows how you think, knows how you hesitate, knows how you decide.

The most important decision in wealth management isn’t about who manages your money, it’s about who helps you make sense of it.