Reality vs expectation: When your kids realise there's nothing left over

As a Family Adviser, I have been involved in many discussions between family members about how inheritance will be spent. Conversations with children often centre around how much will be left over after Mum and Dad pass away. Regularly, expectations and realities are poles apart, with parents living longer and leading more active lifestyles than their children had imagined.

Navigating these family dynamics can be challenging part of my role, especially when children disagree with their parents' lifestyle choices. Understanding and addressing these conflicts is crucial for maintaining harmony and ensuring strong family relationships. 

Typically, financial conflict starts with a few minor complaints among siblings, seeking validation from each other for their viewpoints. These small issues can snowball into larger confrontations, often triggered by micro-events that exacerbate the lack of agreement and understanding. Eventually, parents are confronted with these complaints, but usually only after the issue has escalated to a heightened state of conflict. 

One effective way to address disagreements early is to involve children in discussions about lifestyle choices and plans for family wealth. If parents intend to spend all their wealth before passing, they should communicate this clearly. Conversely, if they plan to pass on a certain amount, they should explain how this will be achieved.

Finding common ground among the children also helps address potential conflicts. This involves identifying complementary roles within the family enterprise, ensuring that everyone feels involved and valued.

Parents should strive to understand each child's personal situation, as factors like wealth, health, and lifestyle can influence their expectations. This understanding will foster empathy and prevent conflicts, ensuring that siblings are aware of each other's challenges and needs. By addressing these issues proactively, families can avoid legal disputes over the distribution of wealth upon the passing of their parents.

Preparing for potential conflicts calls for beneficiaries to be involved in decision-making processes and structuring family wealth to protect it from external conflicts, such as those involving ex-partners or estranged children. This proactive approach can help mitigate potential issues and ensure that family wealth is managed effectively.

Navigating disagreements about lifestyle choices and family wealth requires open communication, empathy, and proactive planning. By involving children in decision-making processes and addressing conflicts before they escalate, parents can maintain harmony and ensure that family relationships remain strong.

Having a family adviser, such as @Canopy East to manage these discussions will allow for cool heads to prevail, adding detail to a governance document that outlines the family's intent.  This document is crucial to the longevity of the family unit.

If you are experiencing similar challenges, please contact

Canopy East.